Lamenting Souls
by chrisgrantrogers
Summary: Lavena is a celt healer trying to work her way out of love. After finding a wounded soldier in the woods, she heals him only to find out he worked for the very people she is against. Will this scout change her mind about love? or will she ignore her heart for the sake of her own people? Rated M for later chapters. Ongoing and new story.
1. Chapter1: What of Souls?

**Disclaimer: This is just a work of Fiction based on the King Arthur Movie ( 2004) I do not own King Arthur or the characters associated. This is my first fanfiction and a place where I can tell stories. Thank you.**

It was almost the time of geamhradu, the time of winter, loss, and death. The beautiful earth goddess who had given us the spring and summer was now deceiving us with the loss of beauty and an underworld of white and cold. The coming months have been hard on our clan and myself included. Many people wished to do us harm and conquer over our lands and people had lost, because they lacked the conviction and the rule of no man can be conquered when he wishes to live free. Some though were victorious of their rule and wished to take little of what we actually owned. The Saxons have taken our land and Rome had converted our people. Our roots have been moved but we are still trees, standing tall on our land wherever we go, swaying with whatever tide comes our way.

My name is Lavena and I am of no Saxon or Rome but a Celt. Proud of my being and craft I am the healer to my people. My black raven hair and light ice blue eyes have been cause of what my people call an omen or a message to the gods that I was indeed born to be a healer to my people. I never believed that my appearance could change the fates of the world. They know I have perfected my craft through hereditary lineage and hours of succeeding and failing in the art of botany, melding herb and oils among other things to create cures. The perpetual myth of this omen of my genetic mutation stayed with me, making me one of the most eligible and lucrative woman in my clan. The whispers and many compliments had always talked of my beauty and how strange and intoxicating it could be but in myself I never felt that way. I would rather receive no gaze at all than a gaze of a man. Men perceived me as being property or something to be received as an award. My long limbs and tall frame made it easy to string a bow and shoot it in only a couple of movements. My pale skin glowed constantly as my dark tattoo on my left arm seemed to only want to jump out. It's intricate designs of swirls and runes told the story of my healing and of what I have become. It was one of the most important and defining features that I liked about my own self. The one thing that made me the prize to be won was the intact nature of my maiden head or virginity. Every man wanted to get to know the virgin healer or most famously wanted to get in me. It was never for religious reasons but for pride. I wanted someone who wanted me because the thought of anyone else would destroy them. Maybe I was just a hopeless woman holding onto the little power I had left. But all I wanted was love, the love where death is no longer an obstacle for the soul searches…and never waivers. In my offerings I ask this of Aine, the goddess of love but my sacrifices and praise of her name was all on deaf ears as she laughed at my mortal pursuits. It wasn't until I thought that my normal and unassuming life of a healer was all meant to be, but it seemed to get more complicated than that, much more. Maybe Aine had heard the whispers of my incantations of love and desire.

My days in my clan consisted of taking care of the ill of my people and my father who was an elder in out small community. The years have taken a toll on his body and frame. War and loss makes a man grow old, and sick. I was the light willing to take care of him and heal of his ails even though his body consistently fought back of my will. He was the man that gave me the name Lavena, meaning joy. It was the most honest feeling he had when I was born even though death loomed, taking my mother in the night of childbirth. The only comfort I had was knowing that the gods and goddess needed her in spirit rather than on this earthly realm. Seeing my father was seeing goodness in people, pureness as he took the upmost care for me as a swaddled babe.

"Father!" I called out to him as my long arms hugged him in an embrace.

"My Lavena, how radiant you look. When will you amuse this old man and find someone?" he laughed through his coughs and raspy voice.

"I will when you decide to get better." I noted as I placed my hands on my hips. "I've told you once before, I am fine. Our people need me and how can I be useful if I spend my days with babes in my arms?" I sighed.

"Well, how about Aldar?" he asked as I looked over to the rather large man in one of the black smith round houses. "He is a good man, strong and a good warrior like yourself. He would make you a fine husband."

I wrinkled my nose in reply. "You know well enough father that he's he's…just too serious. Besides, I am no warrior just a healer to my own people."

"Ah no Lavena, I taught you well to shoot a bow from when you were just a small child. You know how to defend yourself. You know you aren't getting younger my daughter."

My mouth fell in disbelief as what could I say? All he wanted for me was to know that I would be safe and taken care of as he did for me. I let out a big sigh and nodded.

"I believe I have some herbs to get before winter takes them all from me. I love you even If you can be insufferable sometimes with your choice of topics" I embraced him as I went out and decided to venture out into the forest to catch my remedies.

The Wind blew hard against my face once more as my cheeks flushed a light pink. I was ready to turn back into my village when I saw a horse in the distance. I was drawn to the mare's beauty like a moth to a fire flame as I dropped the herbs I was carrying and walked deeper within the forest. Our clan had horses but they were not as beautiful as she was, She was light with a pale mane as I saw her a bit more clearly.

"Strange." I called out as I reached closer and closer to her.

Upon my own surprise as I got closer it was revealed to me that a man was slumped over on the back of this beautiful mare. My instincts went up as I ran to see if the stranger was at least alive. He was completely slumped over his beautiful saddle, bloody, his hair matted, and his armor pierced with sword marks and arrows. He had been through something, not that far away either. He looked strong, and his face had hard chiseled like features. He looked to be made from stone. His hair was a heap and matted mess with three braids, his cheeks tattooed or branded with two black marks. He looked important like he belonged anywhere but here. I lift his face with my hands as his eyes looked completely glossed over, he has lost a lot of blood. He then looks to her and tries to speak to me. "W-We lost.." he trails off as he slumps back in his saddle further. He looked more like a beast than of man. Without trying to spook the horse I took it by the reins and tried to calm it down as my efforts to coax her was working. My need to heal him was coursing through my veins, leaving him here would most certainly be death as I decided to take him back to our clan territory.

As I slowly walked out of the forest to out clan territory all sorts of thoughts ran through my mind. One in particular standing out.

"Father is going to kill me." I groaned.


	2. Chapter 2: Healing

**Second Chapter is up! Thank you to everyone who gave me encouragement and comments to keep this story up. Sorry this is so late. Midterms have been crazy lately. Thank you again for all your support and enjoy!**

Walking through the forest to clan lands was like wearing a scarlet letter on my chest. The wind spread the chill of my cheeks to ice in my own chest as I walked through the dewy leaves and grass. The strange man on the horse barely moved as I feared he would be dead by the time I reached my own healing house. Seeing the roundhouses in my vision made my heart sink down into the pit of my stomach. I had to stand in my convictions to healing, something inside of me told my heart to heal this poor helpless creature. I would have to prove to father that I could heal him and let him go on the first night. He was all but a wounded bird and with my good work, he would fly again. My pitch for this man was hardly anything but it would be a start. My feet felt of heavy lead as I sensed eyes upon me, burning into my flesh through my cloak. I would have wished to walk through fire than endure the tattles of gossip by my people around me. One by one each clan member came out of their roundhouses to see the man upon the horse, some whispering Gaelic to one another. The look in their eyes could have melted my bones right there. My own soul was trying to get out of my own body. I remained stoic, my hand gripping tighter to the leather reins of the horse as my eyes never left the sights in front of me. I tied the horse to one of the rocks along my healing house and turned to my own people. I took a big sigh and placed my hands on my hips, my fingers shaking in intense nervousness. "Well, I can't move this man myself. I found this man wounded in the forest. We need to help him." I looked around at the faces before me as they all looked down and at one another. They were scared and unsure of the new stranger as I started to take him off myself. The man groaned in intense pain as I shook my head. "Some help you all are." I whispered as I heard a man in the distance say something. His voice was rather loud and had a slight edge to it. "Aldar..." I cringed as I turned slightly. "Lavena, you know picking up strays can be dangerous, I will help you with the lad." he walked up to me as he took one side of the man and I carried the other into my healing house. The crowd had now dispersed into their respective houses and trades as I rolled my eyes and placed him on the table. "When did you ever think that I played it safe?" I retorted. "Does your father know that you picked up a stray man in the woods?" he snapped at me. "No! but I am sure he will be aware with the tattles of gossip that seem to be flying everywhere. "Hm.." Aldar scoffed as he tried to help me with the man.

I looked at the stranger on my table and examined him. He had a pulse which I was grateful for and his eyes seemed to have been rolled in the back of his head. He must have suffered from intense blood loss. I decided since Aldar was here anyway that he could help me with the stranger in getting him cleaned and prepped for wound care. "We need to undress him so I can tend to his wounds, he has lost a good amount of blood, he doesn't need to loose anymore." Aldan grunted and started to take off his armor as I prepared cloths soaked in water and a bottle of alcohol to clean the wounds before I could stitch or cauterize them. My eyes looked upon the man on the table as he looked to be carved from stone. His face to his chest was chiseled like a statue. His skin weathered from years of being in battle and the outdoors. His pectoral area also had the same markings that were on his face as my eyes explored his very being. Aldar was kind enough to put a sheet of cloth on him for his modesty. The price of war and combat were apparent on his skin as they were riddled with scars, cuts, pierced skin which arrows have made entry as I started on my good work. I prepared my concoctions as I doused the wounds in alcohol, I heard faint groans of pain come past his lips as Aldar looked at me. "I can handle this from here." I said as he looked down at me. "Thank you…" I sighed and went over him to place my hand on his shoulder. He took my own hand and kissed it gently as my breath hitched in the middle of my lungs. "You know that I would do anything for you." He mentioned as I just looked at him. I knew he liked me, I knew he cared for me, but nothing like this as I slipped my hand away from his grasp. "I'll check his belongings, and make sure he doesn't have any weapons on him." He turned as I turned and walked to my patient once more. I needed my head clear from all of this as I started tending to his wounds. Washing the skin was almost as healing as pouring the alcohol on his wounds as I revealed the man, he no longer took a shape of a creature but of human as the dirt and dried blood seemed to have washed away. He looked handsome and intriguing as I revealed who he really was. I have never seen a man like him and I don't think I would ever again.

I placed the blade of my dagger into the hot hearth as I waited for it to slightly glow. It was quite an archaic way of cauterizing wounds but it was effective and it kept the infection out. I knew once the hot blade blisters his skin he would wake and I might have to tend to him. I was willing to take that risk as I took a scrap of leather from one of my shelves and placed it around my hand, seeing that the blade was hot. I sighed as I looked down at his face. "I'm sorry." I whispered as I placed the hot blade to one of his wounds. It was then that he awoke abruptly and sat up in agony, taking my hand as his grip was seemingly strong in his fragile state. "Where the hell am I?" he asked as his eyes glowed before me. I tried to have him unhand me as I started to pull away. "My ice blue eyes looked down to his brown ones. "Unhand me now or I shall cut off every part which is important to you." I said sternly as he finally unhanded me. "You are in a better place than you were before, death was kind to you…" I whispered in his face as I snarled through my teeth. "You should be so lucky that I found you. You would have died on your horse." I placed my dagger back in the fire again. He looked up at me again, mistrust in his eyes as he tried to prop himself up. "Are you a witch or a woad?" he asked. "Neither." I replied. You are in Celt country now. You abide by our rules dear soldier." He grunted and looked around in a daze. "Lancelot!? Arthur!?" he yelled as I covered his mouth with my hand. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?" I asked as I looked at him and went back to my handy work as he begrudgingly let me tend to his wounds once more. In reality he really had no choice, he could either be healed or die by the fate of my father's arrow. The screams echoed throughout my roundhouse and the forest of our great land, silencing the wilderness which stopped their ministrations of beautiful sound.

Through many screams and intense vulgarities, I had finally tended to his wounds as I had him in one of the beds. His body glistening from his sweat, the intense pain starting to wane away as I sighed and made sure he was somewhat comfortable. "Must you have me naked? Or is that your intention all along?" he snickered as I rolled my eyes once again. "Believe me, I do not wish to see a man naked." One of his eyebrows rose up at the response of my comment. "You know you do too much for a woman." He sighed. "And you talk too much for a man." as I cleaned my knives and cloths. "Are you going to kill me?" he asked with a sense of bitterness in my voice as I chuckled under my breath. "Is something funny to you? "he kept on prying. "No", I find it funny that you soldier's think that everyone is out to kill one another. Do not find me to be soft, if you hurt anyone I will make sure that your head sits on top of a pike." I snickered as I was about to say something else I heard an old man's voice quiver from the outside of my door as I put down my things. It was father, he finally heard and it only took until nightfall this time. Even in his sick and old stage he was still quick to know what was going on in our small clan. "Lavena!" he urged as I met him outside to help him into my roundhouse in the warmth. "Father, you know that you don't need to be out here like this." I put my arm around his and helped him to a nearby chair. "You know exactly why I am here Lavena, you think me to be sick but I assure you that I know what is going on and I know what you are doing." He

looked at my father in bewilderment as my father peered at him and sighed. "He is not one of us, where did you find him again?" He asked. "I found him in the woods father, slumped on his horse." I looked to him with a stern face. "I assure you, he will be ready to leave by the first snowfall…I assur-"it was then I was cut off and he silenced me. "No Lavena, we need strong men for our winter. We will have him as our prisoner, he will no longer be what he is and instead he will be a Celt." He echoed to the man. The stranger protested. "I will not become like you! What makes you think that I will stay?" he bellowed. My father got up from his chair and shuffled to him as he smiled. "By the name of my blade I will kill you if you leave without my blessing, many men stronger than you have tried and they have failed. You are a good looking lad; I'd hate to see your head placed on a pike. I know men like you, you are a soldier. I could tell by your horse. You kill because you like it. You are now a part of something bigger than yourself. You would be a fool if you disobeyed that." He motioned as he looked over to me. "You will heal him and show him the ways of our people." he grunted as he started to leave. I looked back at the man and gave a deep sigh as I went back to my tools. "You know my name now. I would be helpful for me to learn yours."

"Tristan" he said in a gruff tone as he closed his eyes. We never spoke the rest of nightfall as I slid under my own covers and bed. Counting the days until his face would be a long distant memory to which I could not remember.


	3. Chapter 3: Conversas

Sorry this has been so late, finals and the holidays kept me up with no time to write on my free time. Thank you to everyone who has wrote a comment, read, or followed my story. It means a lot. Tristan and Lavena kind to seem to hit it off? Maybe? You decide. :)

It had been days since we spoke, pleasantries were given during times when I would give him food, or change bandages but nothing else was uttered. It was fine by me as I made oils and remedies for friends and people in my clan. No one trusted him enough to speak or look at him, he was an outsider as far as the celt community here was certain. I found myself to be lonely in the comforts of my roundhouse, father was slowly getting better but the cold would change that. The air was becoming chilled as my cheeks flushed at the first step of going outside. Even with another body in the house it was quiet. It was only when Tristan slept when the creatures and people of his dreams seemed to haunt his very soul. Sometimes I catch myself by his bedside to see if he was alright, to make sure that he was still breathing, sometimes I would see him whimpering like a boy, clutching his hands to the white sheets. I never counted on feeling sorry for him, I felt more distaste than anything. Seeing him in such a fragile state propelled me to further heal him, not just his body but his mind before he set off in the world again. He was gaining strength each and everyday. Eventually he was walking a bit, my healing worked even though there was no shred of a single thank you in his voice. His smell was less to be desired and I was intent on making sure that he was given a proper bath, even if I had to tie him across my back and do it myself. I went up to his bed with some lavender oil and a cloth as I placed my hand on my hips. " You need a wash." I proclaimed as his eyes looked up to me. " If you are going to live with me you need to bathe every once in awhile. I could wash your hair, and braid them once more if you like.." I asked him, trying to be more polite than usual towards him. He let out a low growl and shook his head. " I'm not going to be bathed by some whore of a woman." I looked at him and took the sheets off his bed, he was covered in a thin peasant like long sleep shirt that hit his ankles. " I will not ask you again, You will bathe, even if I have to do it myself." I huffed as I stood my ground. He got up slowly and looked me in the eye as his face was mere inches from my very own. "You won't stop talking and I like the idea of having a womans hands on my body again.." he laughed as he turned around and I rolled my eyes, deciding that a cold bath for him would be more suiting.

I called out to one of the neighbors to fetch me some water as I prepared a large tub for him to soak. All this work to make a man presentable seemed to be for nothing as I watched him get up and look at me. Even if he was insufferable he was handsome, his body was that of the gods that made my hands shake, I couldn't breath in my bodice as I decided to untie it and take it off , I could finally feel air hit my lungs as my cheeks flushed. I finally had my long blouse on as I could move at least. I placed the water in the tub, every other bucket being warm so the water was tolerable for him. It was then I turned around and found Tristan naked before me as I gasped and turned my head around fast. " If you know what is best you will get in that water Tristan!" I said curtly as I heard the splash of him getting in. I tried to get some composure again as I heard him laugh. " You have never seen a man naked before Lavena?" he asked as I shook my head. " No, I only thought of seeing my husband naked.." I blushed as I sat down in a chair by him and started to soak the rag in water. " Are you a virgin?" he commented as I nodded. "Yes and I would like to remain that way until I find a husband. " I stated as I started to soak his body and hair, the water itself was turning from clear to murky within minutes as I shuddered. "I guess you wouldn't know anything about marriage, being a soldier…" He shook his head as I started to undo his braids one by one as he shook his head. " No I don't..I only know the women in taverns and brothels..being a soldier does not allow one to have a heart. Instead you must take them. I learned the only thing I loved was killing...and my hawk." he replied as she turned a brow and started to scrub his long locks with her hands. " I see.." I mentioned as I was shocked that he actually confided in me about something. " Are those the images that haunt you at night?" I asked as he turned his head and looked at me. " What do you mean?" he asked as I scrubbed the back of his neck and started placing lavender oil on his aching muscles. " I hear you every night, you call out for people, you writhe in pain, grip the sheets..sometimes I check and make sure that you are okay and then you fall asleep again until morning,.." I confessed as I continued on my work, my face now extremely red as I actually said something about it. He grunted and turned away from me. " They were people from my past, they mean nothing now as I think most of them are dead now...or at least I think they are." His eyes fixated into space as I could tell he was having another flashback again. I wanted him to snap out of it as I asked to see his face. He obliged and turned to look at me as I began to wash his face. " Your tattoos are very interesting..more than mine.." I smiled as I tried to connect with him in any way possible. His eyes pierced through mine as I felt uncomfortable, he had a way of doing that, making me feel vulnerable and naked. " You have tattoos?" he asked as I lifted up my arm and showed him the rune swirls of a celtic healer. He placed his finger on my arm to trace the swirls as I looked at him, my fingers tracing the geometric lines of his triangles. What was I doing? I snapped my hand back and pulled away from him as I pulled myself together. He chuckled under his breath as I looked away when he got up from the tub. " Put on some clothes, and I will then braid your hair.." I sighed in relief as he put on a shirt and then looked at what he would call a skirt. " I'm not wearing that.." he looked over at me as I sighed. " It's called a kilt and your manhood will freeze if ya don't." I laughed as he grumbled and put in on as he came out.

I almost burst out laughing at the sight, the kilt was in all different kinds of directions and the leather holding it up was twisted around as I sighed. " I'll help you, you look a mess..no celtic woman would want you looking like a fool.." he rolled his eyes. " You're assuming I want a woman and a Celtic one at that." My eyes look at him as if I was throwing daggers right then and there. "We all happen to be good wives, and fantastic lovers..I hear.." I blushed again and took the leather belt off of him and folded his kilt the proper way and looked at him. " Now you look proper. Let me braid your hair." I insisted as he sat down on the ground Indian style as I sat in a chair and started to part his locks. There was silence for a good five minutes before he broke it. " Do you want to know why I have my tattoos and braids?" he asked as I nodded. Anything was better than the silence game coming from him. " Yes, call me intrigued…" I stated as I continued to braid his hair. "I was just a boy when I was taken away from my home and I wanted to keep the customs that my family had, his father and his father before him always had facial tattoos..when a boy reached manhood it was his time. I made sure that even though I was in the order of the knights that I would get them and I did...my braids are the most important kills. I have three…" I stopped braiding for a second as I felt a lump in my throat at the thought of how many people that died under his hand. "Tristan, How many people have you killed?" I asked him shakily as I continued again with my braiding. Silence befell once more as he tried to think. " Too many to count and not important enough for a braid in my hair.." he whispered as I tried to be calm. " Have you ever thought about not killing Tristan.?" I asked as I finished one of his braids. He shrugged and gave a big sigh.

"I did just now…" he smiled and looked up to me as I patted his shoulder lightly as my heart jumped right out of my chest and onto the floor where it remained the rest of the night.


	4. Chapter 4: What of promises?

**Hello Everyone! Well this has been awhile hasn't it? Well I'm here again and will try and update, school took a lot out of me. Thank you all who followed and convinced me to update this story. I hope you like it.**

Time had passed and the winter had turned to the spring, I had kept myself busy throughout the months. The annual hunt for a woman's hand was upon the village and my father convinced me for it to be my hand. I found as the years rolled on my independence was becoming less and less. My father needed a legacy and I was the only one to deliver it. Tristan and I kept close and yet far from one another. He helped the men in the village and sometimes I'd catch him looking at me from afar. My cheeks remained red for the rest of winter and not because of the cold winds. I found myself getting closer to him like a moth to a flame, two magnetizing forces coming together but never fully, the flame being extinguished before it was even started. Sometimes he would help me with my oils, his hands being on top of mine as he helped me mortar and pestle the different herbs that I collected during the last spring.

I looked up at him and sighed as I removed my hand. "What are we doing Tristan?" I asked. "You are going to leave in spring, and I am not willing to give up my...my..place here.." I protested as I moved my station to the kitchen to take the herbs that were drying down. I could hear him following me as he took my arm. "Lavena..I..f-find myself becoming close to you in a way that I haven't found with many women during my time." he confessed as I shook my head. "You are not a celt, I cannot have you and you cannot have me...the hunt will be here soon and my father will have me with the man who can present the best meat to the village.." I noted. "It will be Aldar...and you will be banished, my father told you until spring.." he shook his head and slammed his fist on the table. "I will not see you with another man!" he raised his voice as I turned around shocked and equally as mad and upset as I yelled right back at him. "Tristan, you cannot possess something can't have! As much as I want whatever is happening here, I know I cannot have you because clan rule says so!" I covered my mouth as I began to cry, the warm tears rolling down my cheeks.

He instinctively took me by the shoulders and looked at my face. "Then I shall ask your father and I will be one of the men who will compete in the hunt.." he suggested. "It is forbidden Tristan!" I protested as he placed his finger onto my lips as I closed my eyes, it was the closest we have been in months as without thinking I looked at him and brushed my lips against his finger and placed my hands on his face and pressed my forehead to his. "I give you grace by the gods and goddesses that you prevail." I looked up at him as I pulled away from him and went outside to catch my breath once again, I walked down by the bank of the river as I collapsed within myself and looked beyond the bank, I found myself wanting. Something I never felt before as I caught my breath. I wanted a man in which I found myself that I could never have as I slammed my fist into the semi soft earth and cried. "Pull yourself together Lavena, Pull yourself out of this.." I sighed as I took water into my hand to clean my hands and face off.


End file.
